The Fear Factor in Life (Part 2)

Quotes on Fear
Nothing is terrible except for fear itself. - Sir Francis Bacon

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. - Franklin D. Roosevelt

There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction. - J.F. Kennedy

The bottom line is that if you can overcome your fear, you can break the cycle and live to see the death of your ignorance and the birth of your success. Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed. - Michael Pritchard

Fear causes people to draw back from situations; it brings on mediocrity; it dulls creativity; it sets one up to be a loser in life. - Fran Tarkenton

Fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe. - John Maxwell

As long as I continue to stretch my capabilities, as long as I continue to take risks in making my dreams come true, I am going to experience fear. - Dr. Susan Jeffries

The hero and the coward both feel exactly the same fear, only the hero confronts his fear and converts it into fire. - Cus D’Amato (Professional boxing manager)

The irony is that the successful person who keeps growing, taking risks, and moving forward feels the same feelings of fear as the one who allows fear to stop him. The difference comes because one doesn’t let fear dominate him while the other does. - John Maxwell

To take the plunge, to start your own company, to shed the comforts of the corporate world, takes guts… It also takes more than a bold decision. - Peter Krass

Ignorance is bliss. If an entrepreneur knew all the pitfalls he might stumble upon, he’d never get started. - Warren Avis

I discovered the secret of success: Plunge into the uncomfortable; push… beyond your fears and your sense of limitations. And that’s what I’ve been doing ever since, overcoming my discomfort as I go along. - Barry Diller

The largest obstacle between you and your goal is a lack of total commitment. Often we use phrases like, “I’ll try’, “I guess I can”, “I hope I can”. But commitment is expressed in two words: I WILL. - Barry Diller

Fear is the opportunity for courage, not proof of cowardice. - John McCain

Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. - Longfellow

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which passes all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6-7

Fear Is Universal: Examples of Historical Figures with Fears
We all have fears. 9 out of 10 people are terrified by the thought of speaking before groups. Some don’t like insects. Others fear heights, deep water, financial problems, aging, or loneliness. 

• Julius Caesar, a powerful military general and Roman emperor, feared thunder. 
• Peter the Great, the czar of Russia and an imposing figure at six five feet tall, was afraid of bridges. He crossed them only when there was no other alternative, and when he did, he trembled and cried like a child. 
• Dr. Samuel Johnson, a British writer and literary critic, had a phobia about entering a room with any foot other than his left foot. Anytime he accidentally entered a room wrong-footed, he backed out and entered again with his right foot. He took wanting to put his best foot forward to a ridiculous extreme!

The Fear Factor In Life (Part 1)

What is Fear?
The overriding cause of fear is excessive preoccupation with the Self.

Types of Fear: 
1. Fear of Failure
2. Fear of Making Mistakes
3. Fear of rejection
4. Fear of change
5. Fear of confrontation
6. Fear of loss
7. Fear of success!
8. Fear of the Unknown

The biggest barrier that most people have to overcome is fear. It is this fear (and all of its cousins like worry, anxiety, and self-doubt) that paralyses you, and keeps you from succeeding.

EFFECTS OF FEAR
No matter how foolish or humorous another person’s fears may seem to us, our own seem serious. If allowed to control our lives, fear can be a permanent detour on the success journey, stopping us from making any progress.

Fear breeds Inaction Inaction leads to Lack of Experience Lack of Experience fosters Ignorance; and Ignorance breeds Fear - John Maxwell

OTHER EFFECTS OF FEAR

• Procrastination
• Sluggishness
• Not taking Initiative
• Laziness & Indecision
• Timidity
• Introversion
• Reticence (Uncommunicative)
• Inactivity 

ANTIDOTES
Dream: Your dream is one of the most effective antidotes for fear. It can fuel the flames of desire within you until you are willing to confront and overcome your fear. Your dream can help you go where you are afraid to go and do what you are afraid to do. Your dream can provide the spark that will turn your fear to fire.

Action: Action is the only antidote for fear. Act in spite of fear, and the death of fear is certain. When it comes to dealing with fear, you have 3 choices:

1. Try to avoid it altogether. But that means staying away from every known or potential fear-producing person, place thing, or situation.

2. Hope that it will go away. But that’s like hoping for a fairy godmother to rescue you.

3. Face it and overcome it Discover the foundation of fear. Most of the fears we face every day are not based on facts. They are generated by our feelings. For example, a study conducted by the University of Michigan showed the following: 

• 60 percent of our fears are totally unwarranted; they never come to pass 
• 20 percent of our fears are focused on our past, which is completely out of our control 
• 10 percent of our fears are based on things so petty that they make no difference in our lives 
• Of the remaining 10 percent, only 4 to 5 percent could be considered justifiable.

These statistics show that any time or energy you give to fear is totally wasted and counterproductive 95 percent of the time.

The Character of Success

What is Success?

Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others. - John Maxwell

Success is not determined by acquisitions or opulence. It is the ultimate fulfilment of an identified purpose – grand or small – for the benefit of others, the glory of God, and the fulfilment of the person. - Babatunde Oladele

Wrong Concepts of Success

• Having money, riches and wealth
• Having many properties and assets
• Being popular and in the news at all times
• Having fleet of cars
• Having many children
• Marrying many wives
• Having many admirers
• Being a public figure
• Being the envy of everyone around etc

The Character of Success

Success is fulfilling an identified personal life purpose with:

• The fear of God
• Integrity
• Sound Ethical Values
• A Sense of Mission
• Compassion
• Character

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure. - Jim Rohn

If you develop the habits of success, you will make success a habit. - Michael E. Angier

The common denominator of success lies in forming the habit of doing things that failure don’t like to do. - Albert Gray

Utilising Communication Skills for Personal Development (Final)

Writing for Professional Development

For those whose vocation is writing-intensive, such as journalists, academics, secretaries, etc the command of a superb language mechanics is a great determinant of their success at the workplace as well as the prestige ascribed to them by their publics. People like Chinua Achebe, Wole Soyinka, J.P. Clark, Ayo Banjo, Reuben Abati, Dare Babarinsa, are few among the contemporary people who have attained international prominence through their writing skills.

Students in academic institutions, especially those in the humanities, also need a good command of language to enhance their grades. Therefore, it behoves anyone whose line has anything to do with writing to hone his writing skill by reading and writing regularly.

Conclusion

So far we have considered the various ways we can use the four communication skills to achieve personal development, which is the key to success, excellence and greatness. In the words of Riley, as documented by Tracy (2004):

By engaging in continuous self-improvement, you can put yourself behind the wheel of your own life. By dedicating yourself to enhancing your earning ability, you will automatically be engaging in the continuous process of personal development. By learning more, you prepare yourself to earn more. You position yourself for tomorrow by developing the knowledge and skills that you need to be a valuable and productive part of …(the) economy, no matter which direction it goes.

This is a final word to underscore the role of personal development in attaining your dreams in life. There is no shortcut to earning more, becoming more and achieving greatness except to follow the route of disciplined and sustained investment in the self. Any attempt to go it otherwise will only be like trying to beat the devil to his own game. And this reminds me of the story of the man who did just that.

Some time ago, the devil compiled a list of one thousand people who were due for death because of their nefarious activities on earth. The number one person on that list happened to be a notorious Nigerian fraudster (popularly known as 419), whose fraudulent records had no rival under heaven. After getting God’s approval to execute the sinners, the devil went to the house of his first victim and announced his mission there without much ado.

To his utmost surprise, this fraudster did not betray any sign of fear nor plead for mercy. Instead, he welcomed the devil most cheerfully and invited him to sit down so that he could entertain him, as the august visitor that he was, before he carries out his mission. Then the man served the devil several bottles of beer and large portions of barbecues (suya), which he gulped down so ravenously till he fell into a long sleep.

While he was fast asleep, this fraudster quickly erased his name from the number one position on the devil’s list and wrote it as the last name. Then he anxiously waited for his visitor to wake up and discover his mistake.

After several hours, the devil finally woke up and groggily looked around him in confusion.  Then his eyes centred on the man standing beside him, and he smiled with pleasure. He said:

“My friend, you surprised me a lot. I never knew human beings are capable of the hospitality and generosity you have shown me today”. He placed his hand on the man’s shoulder and gave him a friendly pat.

“Guess what? I’m going to do you a big favour in return. I’ll give you enough time to prepare yourself and put your house in order before I come for you.  So I wont kill you now, instead I will start my killing from the last name on my list” 

Utilising Communication Skills for Personal Development (Part 14)

Writing for Social Integration

An effective writing skill can be a great source of prestige in the society for anyone who possesses it. As stated earlier, few people possess the writing skill to a commendable extent.  And those who do usually enjoy considerable credibility in the society because most people believe the written word (and a writer) more than they do the spoken words (and a public speaker).

Another way to use written communication to enhance your social integration is by cultivating the habit of writing letters or short notes to compliment or encourage people; your family members, friends, colleagues, or even people who do not know you but whom you admire and desire to be friendly with. In the words of Benson (undated:183), ‘we live by encouragement, and die without it –  slowly, sadly and angrily’. Therefore, the man who looks beyond himself to sincerely appreciate others in long or short writings will not just be adding a memorable value to them, but will also earn himself an impressive collection of allies. And the more people you have around you, the easier you are able to perform tasks and achieve your aims in life.      

Utilising Communication Skills for Personal Development (Part 13)

Writing for Emotional Development

 One way writing helps one emotionally is in the area of catharsis which the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (1998:176) defines as “the process of releasing strong feelings, e.g. through drama or other artistic activities, as a way of providing relief from anger, suffering, etc.”

When in an emotional state that disturbs your equanimity, picking up a pen to write exactly how you feel is a sure way of tranquillising the storms in your mind. No matter the gibberish you may write or how incoherent your thought-flow may be, simply pouring out your heart on paper is able to sufficiently calm you down and prevent you from acting out of place.

Another way you can use writing to achieve an emotional end is by documenting your feelings of attraction or affection for another person, usually the opposite sex. Such writings are usually a better and more accurate representation of the depth of one’s feeling than words of mouth can express. The rhythmical quality of such lettered emotions are also poetic.  That is why Wordsworth describes poetry as ‘the spontaneous overflow of powerful feeling recollected in tranquillity’.

Utilising Communication Skills for Personal Development (Part 12)

Writing for Personal Development

The Cambridge International Dictionary of English (1996:1692) defines writing as “the activity of creating pieces of writing work, such as stories, poems or articles”.  In the words of Beck et al (2002:31), “writing is a method of passing information from one person to another, or to a group of people”. They however did not limit writing’s function to information alone, as they also cite persuasion and entertainment as veritable resources to which writing can be put to.

Of the four communication skills, writing is the least utilized for obvious reasons. It requires a great expenditure of time and mental efforts to write. It is a process of drafting, editing, and redrafting to usually arrive at an acceptable finished product. The more reason it has been a highly prized communication skill throughout history. Its mastery confers great powers and influence on whoever possesses it (Beck et al, 2002), Hence the popular saying that “the pen is mightier than the sword”.

The beauty of writing is not usually in its volumes, but in the style and the effectiveness of the content in achieving the set objective(s) of the writer. Effective writing essentially thrives on clarity, precision, and conciseness. In the words of Adesanoye (1995:115):

Effective writing…is a piece of written communication that conveys its message in the simplest, clearest, most concise and most readable way possible. It is also that piece of writing in which the manner of expression dovetails perfectly with the subject matter; one in which…there is a close fit between what and how.

Simplicity, clarity, readability and conciseness are thus the hallmarks of effective writing.

With this background on writing, we shall now proceed to highlight how it can be used for various forms of personal development.

Writing aids the development of the mental faculty because, more than any communication effort, it involves a lot of thinking. The writer often finds himself writing, cancelling and rewording his expressions in the effort to choose the words that will most suitably convey his heart to his reader(s). In the process of doing this, he regularly consult the dictionary and thesaurus, thereby increasing his bank of vocabulary while at the same time honing his intellect.