The Role of the Woman in the Family

The woman is the pulse of the family. She is the one that dictates the tone and direction of the home. As the manager of the home, the woman wields considerable influence in the ultimate productivity and performance of members of her household in the larger society.

The woman is also the moulder of the character and attitude of members of her household and these inform their level of adaptation into and contributions to the society for good or otherwise. 

The Role of the Woman in the Economy

The woman is the unseen influence behind every successful man in the society. Therefore, as the mother, the wife, the sister, the daughter, or a relative of the men at the corridors of power, the woman is better positioned to influence certain economic policies that will turn out in the best interest of all.

The woman, by virtue of her natural intuitiveness, is more equipped to pursue certain courses that will enhance the economy than the man who is usually more logical in reasoning and action.

The woman performs the dual role of a driver as well as a support system in the economy.

As a driver – the woman facilitates the economic chain through her enterprise in business and in the workplace. The woman also functions as a support system towards the growth and development of the economy.

What About Asking "What Do Men Want"?

This is my response to an email in the NIGERIAN CHRISTIAN SINGLES FORUM [http://groups.yahoo.com/group/nigerianxtiansingles/message/4384]. I hope you'll find it helpful.

Hi Guys,

I have followed some of the threads in this House with keen interest, especially the ones that are gender-sensitive as this particular mail. I also read with similar gusto all the arguments thrown back and forth, nodding at some, imbibing some, and discarding some altogether.

However, am quite alarmed to realise that since the inception this Forum some four years ago, virtually all of the gender-sensitive mails we have received herein are more inclined in favour of the women; it is either "How to Treat a Woman", "What Does A Woman Want", “How To Take Care of A Woman”, "How To Love/Show Affection to a Woman", "How to Choose Your Man" etc etc (There are about 888 mails focused on Women, what they want, desire, like, aim, should go for, should choose, among others, on the message board). And the heated debate that usually ensues when there is a slight counter opinion, especially when a brother flaws some of the positions, is always amusing. No doubt, most of our sisters here are very eloquent; they know how to marshal their arguments and defend their folks. Perhaps this is because women are more vocal than men and tend to express themselves more freely in comparison.

However, after reading this last mail by our dear sister, I began to ruminate over a number of things:

1.   Aren’t the women being too self-centred by their obsession with what/who they want, and how/where/why/when they want him?

2.   Do women take time to find out what the kind of man they desire want and try work on or adjust themselves to give it/them to him the way he wants it/them?

3.   In fact, who should do the wanting/desiring the most, is it the man or the woman? It seems that the clamour of the wants/desires of the women have muffled the voice of some men and bludgeoned them into trying to be desirable and acceptable to the woman at the expense of their own distinct identity.

Going by the origin and the order of creation, it is pertinent to note that a woman was created for the man, not the other way round. I guess that requires reiteration, God created a woman because of the man: to help and complement him in his assignments. I hope our sisters would learn from this and not regard it as some chauvinistic positions.

Having established this foreground, the onus then lies on the woman is to find the man whom she was created/meant to complement; while the man has to seek the woman who will be comparable to him in his God-given assignments.

How each party goes about doing this is a discussion for another day. But suffice to say that this primarily hinges on the discovery and fulfilling of one’s PURPOSE in life [You may read my blog post on the phenomenon of purpose here http://macbethology.blogspot.com/2008/06/23-facts-about-your-purpose-in-life.html).

A man that has discovered and is living his purpose in life will be able to identify the woman who will be comparable to him as a wife. Similarly, a woman who knows the calling of God upon her life will instinctively know “the man” when he surfaces in her world. This is beyond such superficial factors, such as physical and/or mental attributes, that are being bandied around in email forwards and other public spaces.

My thinking is that if women (especially those who are yet to marry) can take time to reflect on these and do an honest appraisal/inventory, attracting and identifying the so called Mr. Right will not be an incubus.

Please let’s take our attention off the shadows and focus on the substance.

Shalom!

Babatunde

Problems, Solutions and Problem-Solvers By Babatunde Oladele

Problems and challenges abound in the world of the living. And we dare not deceive ourselves by hoping that they will all end someday. The day that one ceases to have issues to contend with is the day he bids the world goodbye. To lend credence to this fact, the Bible records in the book of Job 5:7 that man is born to trouble as indubitably as the sparks fly in no other direction but upward.

So having established the fact that problems and challenges abound in the world in different forms and sizes, how can they be solved as they arise? Where does one run to for solution when confronted with challenges?

There are a number of recourses available for men to explore in solving the various challenges of life, such as one’s learning, past experience in handling a similar situation, parents, friends and loved ones, a consultant/counselor, etc. While any or all of these measures can prove to be very helpful, however, the most effective solutions are those given by God, and the best answers to all our questions are found in the presence of God.

I derived this insight from the Holy Bible, the book of Judges Chapter 21. The Israelites were faced with a major problem; preventing the extinction of one of the 12 tribes that formed the pillars of their nation, the tribe of Benjamin.

They had themselves launched a reprisal war on the Benjamites (read Judges Chapters 19 & 20 for details) and killed hundreds of thousands of them in the war, as well as every living thing that were found on their land. Only 600 men of the Benjamites who fled from the battlefront and went to hide in the rock remained, every other person had been killed; old and young, men and women.

And since the Israelites had vowed before God not to give their daughters as wives to the Benjamites, then the tribe faced the risk of total extinction, as there were only 600 survivors left in the whole tribe, and they were all men!

This made the Israelites went to the house of God to seek counsel on what should be done. And there they found the answer to their question. Without speaking through a prophet, God gave them a circumstantial direction on what to do to get wives for the men of Benjamin without having to break their vow.

While the whole congregation of Israel was in the presence of God mourning, weeping, and offering sacrifices, the inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead were not represented. Therefore, in making good their word, the Israelites sent warriors to the city and killed all the children, the men and every married woman in that land. They spared only the virgins whom they brought to the camp and then gave as wives to the men of Benjamin.

Another insight I derived from this new development is that it is those who do not spend time in the presence of God that will be made to pay the price or be used as pawn to execute the solutions that those who spend time in the presence of God come up with. The people of Jabesh Gilead who were found wanting in God’s presence were the ones who forfeited their lives so that their virgins could be given to the Benjamites as wives.

This underscores the need for every one of us to cultivate the habit of spending time in God’s presence, so that we do not become perpetual tools (for the accomplishment of the purpose) of those of who do.

What Is The Character Of Success?

Success is fulfilling an identified personal life purpose with:

• The fear of God
• Integrity
• Sound Ethical Values
• A Sense of Mission
• Compassion
• Character

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure. - Jim Rohn

If you develop the habits of success, you will make success a habit. - Michael E. Angier

The common denominator of success lies in forming the habit of doing things that failure don’t like to do. - Albert Gray

Wrong Concepts Of Success

• Having money, riches and wealth
• Having many properties and assets
• Being popular and in the news at all times
• Having fleet of cars
• Having many children
• Marrying many wives
• Having many admirers
• Being a public figure
• Being the envy of everyone around etc

What Is Success?

Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential, and sowing seeds that benefit others. - John Maxwell

Success is not determined by acquisitions or opulence. It is the ultimate fulfilment of an identified purpose – grand or small – for the benefit of others, the glory of God, and the fulfilment of the person. - Babatunde Oladele