Problems, Solutions and Problem-Solvers

Problems and challenges abound in the world of the living. And we dare not deceive ourselves by hoping that they will all end someday. The day that one ceases to have issues to contend with is the day he bids the world goodbye. To lend credence to this fact, the Bible records in the book of Job 5:7 that man is born to trouble as indubitably as the sparks fly in no other direction but upward.

So having established the fact that problems and challenges abound in the world in different forms and sizes, how can they be solved as they arise? Where does one run to for solution when confronted with challenges?

There are a number of recourses available for men to explore in solving the various challenges of life, such as one’s learning, past experience in handling a similar situation, parents, friends and loved ones, a consultant/counselor, etc. While any or all of these measures can prove to be very helpful, however, the most effective solutions are those given by God, and the best answers to all our questions are found in the presence of God.

I derived this insight from the Holy Bible, the book of Judges Chapter 21. The Israelites were faced with a major problem; preventing the extinction of one of the 12 tribes that formed the pillars of their nation, the tribe of Benjamin.

They had themselves launched a reprisal war on the Benjamites (read Judges Chapters 19 & 20 for details) and killed hundreds of thousands of them in the war, as well as every living thing that were found on their land. Only 600 men of the Benjamites who fled from the battlefront and went to hide in the rock remained, every other person had been killed; old and young, men and women.

And since the Israelites had vowed before God not to give their daughters as wives to the Benjamites, then the tribe faced the risk of total extinction, as there were only 600 survivors left in the whole tribe, and they were all men!

This made the Israelites went to the house of God to seek counsel on what should be done. And there they found the answer to their question. Without speaking through a prophet, God gave them a circumstantial direction on what to do to get wives for the men of Benjamin without having to break their vow.

While the whole congregation of Israel was in the presence of God mourning, weeping, and offering sacrifices, the inhabitants of Jabesh Gilead were not represented. Therefore, in making good their word, the Israelites sent warriors to the city and killed all the children, the men and every married woman in that land. They spared only the virgins whom they brought to the camp and then gave as wives to the men of Benjamin.

Another insight I derived from this new development is that it is those who do not spend time in the presence of God that will be made to pay the price or be used as pawn to execute the solutions that those who spend time in the presence of God come up with. The people of Jabesh Gilead who were found wanting in God’s presence were the ones who forfeited their lives so that their virgins could be given to the Benjamites as wives.

This underscores the need for every one of us to cultivate the habit of spending time in God’s presence, so that we do not become perpetual tools (for the accomplishment of the purpose) of those of who do.

What About Asking "What Do Men Want"?

Hi Guys,

I have followed some of the threads in this House with keen interest, especially the ones that are gender-sensitive as this particular mail. I also read with similar gusto all the arguments thrown back and forth, nodding at some, imbibing some, and discarding some altogether.

However, am quite alarmed to realise that since the inception this Forum some four years ago, virtually all of the gender-sensitive mails we have received herein are more inclined in favour of the women; it is either "How to Treat a Woman", "What Does A Woman Want", “How To Take Care of A Woman”, "How To Love/Show Affection to a Woman", "How to Choose Your Man" etc etc (There are about 888 mails focused on Women, what they want, desire, like, aim, should go for, should choose, among others, on the message board). And the heated debate that usually ensues when there is a slight counter opinion, especially when a brother flaws some of the positions, is always amusing. No doubt, most of our sisters here are very eloquent; they know how to marshal their arguments and defend their folks. Perhaps this is because women are more vocal than men and tend to express themselves more freely in comparison.

However, after reading this last mail by our dear sister, I began to ruminate over a number of things:

1.   Aren’t the women being too self-centred by their obsession with what/who they want, and how/where/why/when they want him?

2.   Do women take time to find out what the kind of man they desire want and try work on or adjust themselves to give it/them to him the way he wants it/them?

3.   In fact, who should do the wanting/desiring the most, is it the man or the woman? It seems that the clamour of the wants/desires of the women have muffled the voice of some men and bludgeoned them into trying to be desirable and acceptable to the woman at the expense of their own distinct identity.

Going by the origin and the order of creation, it is pertinent to note that a woman was created for the man, not the other way round. I guess that requires reiteration, God created a woman because of the man: to help and complement him in his assignments. I hope our sisters would learn from this and not regard it as some chauvinistic positions.

Having established this foreground, the onus then lies on the woman is to find the man whom she was created/meant to complement; while the man has to seek the woman who will be comparable to him in his God-given assignments.

How each party goes about doing this is a discussion for another day. But suffice to say that this primarily hinges on the discovery and fulfilling of one’s PURPOSE in life [You may read my blog post on the phenomenon of purpose here http://macbethology.blogspot.com/2008/06/23-facts-about-your-purpose-in-life.html).

A man that has discovered and is living his purpose in life will be able to identify the woman who will be comparable to him as a wife. Similarly, a woman who knows the calling of God upon her life will instinctively know “the man” when he surfaces in her world. This is beyond such superficial factors, such as physical and/or mental attributes, that are being bandied around in email forwards and other public spaces.

My thinking is that if women (especially those who are yet to marry) can take time to reflect on these and do an honest appraisal/inventory, attracting and identifying the so called Mr. Right will not be an incubus.

Please let’s take our attention off the shadows and focus on the substance.

Shalom!

Babatunde

What Is The Character Of Success?

Success is fulfilling an identified personal life purpose with:

• The fear of God
• Integrity
• Sound Ethical Values
• A Sense of Mission
• Compassion
• Character

Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day. It is the accumulative weight of our disciplines and our judgments that leads us to either fortune or failure. - Jim Rohn

If you develop the habits of success, you will make success a habit. - Michael E. Angier

The common denominator of success lies in forming the habit of doing things that failure don’t like to do. - Albert Gray

Be Free, Manifest and Succeed!

I got this insight after watching a movie entitled “Bubble Boy.”

Humans, when caged by self, dogma or fellow humans cannot be free, neither can they manifest their full potential nor succeed in their endeavours. The very thought of freedom, manifestation, and success suggests an image of outward flow of activities rather than an inward blossom.

However, freedom, manifestation and success do not happen without some degrees of internal and external struggles. These restrictions usually come in form of limitations imposed by the self, others or the environment; and it is to the extent that you overcome them that you will be free, become and succeed.

Therefore, to be free, to manifest or to succeed, here are three keys you may find very helpful:

1.    Go out: you cannot reach your full potential unless you go out of your comfort zone. Have you seen a tortoise moving before? No matter how big or small it is, it cannot move anywhere until it juts its head out of the shell. Humans are no different; there is no progress unless you go out of your shell. You cannot succeed unless you discard the limiting beliefs and self-doubts that have held you down for whatever length of time. To grow, you need to proceed from one level of reasoning or operation to the next. To succeed, you have to go out of the miry of nonchalance and average performance.

2.    Reach out: as you go out of your comfort zone or bland level to pursue your dreams and ideals, you also need to reach out to people and resources that will help you to achieve your objectives along the way. Fortune most often does not favour the taciturn. You need to identify the persons or association that can enhance you as a person as well as enable you to accomplish your aim, and then reach out to them. This is not limited to humans alone; as you are “going out” you will also encounter books, events and other resources that will be helpful to you. Reach out to them, subscribe to them, engage them and assimilate them.

3.    Launch out: to the extent that you have gone out and reached out, you also need to launch out with the idea and initiative you have been nursing, or those that occur to you as you become. A popular maxim holds that “people will not celebrate you for your intentions, but your actions.” To succeed, you need to have a sizable action quotient per day. And the key to doing that is making every hour count. Input substance into your hours and you will have a productive day. Never let an hour pass by without a substantial investment of rigorous thinking or effort with short, medium or long-term yield in it. Even the chunk of time you take to rest or spend with your family constitutes a judicious investment of time that will produce positives. So, don’t think it’s all about working alone.

So, dare the odds and discouragements to launch out and start that business, NGO, product/service line, and whatever it is that you have tucked in the recess of your mind for so long. Don’t fall victim of the paralysis that develops from over-analysis. You will never know all there is to know, have all you need to start, nor have a panoramic view of all there is to see about the idea anyway. So start where you are.

I conclude with a saying I heard some years ago, “instead of waiting for a perfect time, make the present time perfect.”

Some 22 Facts about Your Life Purpose

1. It is the key to your greatness
2. It is not determined by your past or present location
3. It has nothing to do with your family background or standing in the society
4. It may have nothing to do with your present career or the job you are doing now
5. It helps you to set your priorities in life and identify what is really important and what isn’t
6. It helps you to apportion and make use of time more productively
7. God will require an account of stewardship from you on what you do with it
8. It takes an accountability system to continually live and fulfil it maximally
9. It is what you will do with joy and look forward to doing everyday
10. It will bring you great contentment in life and give you a sense of fulfilment
11. It helps you to identify your destiny partners: e.g. who to marry, who to be friendly with, who to go into business with, who to hire as workers, who to submit to etc
12. In the field of your purpose, you are a king and a celebrity
13. It is in the Word of God
14. It takes God and His resources to fulfil it
15. You are not really successful if you are not fulfilling or living it
16. It guides you to make the right choices and decisions in life
17. It is not something you learn in school, seminars, workshops, or conferences
18. It has been in/with you all along, merely awaiting discovery
19. You might have been fulfilling it without knowing
20. You don’t have to leave your present job or career to start fulfilling it
21. You can make a career out of it
22. It can be commercialised to fetch you money and make you very rich

Some Quotes On Potentials

The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... these are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence. - Eddie Robinson

The potential for greatness lives within each of us. The key to achieving greatness is found when we discover and then develop our dream. - John Maxwell

Adventure isn't hanging on a rope off the side of a mountain. Adventure is an attitude that we must apply to the day to day obstacles of life - facing new challenges, seizing new opportunities, testing our resources against the unknown and in the process, discovering our own unique potential. - John Amatt

No one fulfils his purpose, develops his potential, or consistently help others without goals. Your goals determine your priorities – and your priorities determine whether you’ll reach your goals. - John Maxwell

Nothing is more effective when it comes to reaching potential than commitment to personal growth. - John Maxwell

Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential. Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965) British prime minister during WWII

I’d rather reach 90 percent of my potential with plenty of mistakes than reach only 10 percent with a perfect score. - John Maxwell

To keep moving to a higher level and reach your potential, you… have to be willing to… trade security for significance. - John Maxwell

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential. - Ellen Goodman

How To Maximize Your Potential

Means Of Expressing One’s Potentials

Potentials are expressed through the following:

• Actions
• Interactions
• Works
• Service

Avenues For Expressing One’s Potentials

• The family
• The workplace
• Business ventures and entrepreneurship
• The society

The church or other voluntary societies