The social aspect of man describes his
relationships with the outside world. The extent to which man is accepted and
esteemed by the society is dependent on the degree of his integration in the
society.
No doubt every man desires to be liked
and appreciated by everyone, although most will deny this. Carnegie (194:38),
while summing this need of man to be liked, cites Williams James as saying that
“the deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”.
Therefore, a man who wants to be seen as
friendly and sociable by his fellow men must be a good listener. The Bible also
lends credence to this verity, saying the man who would have many friends must
himself be friendly (Proverbs 18:24), and being friendly in this sense means
being an empathetic listener. Listening is one of the ways to appreciate
people. Osborne (1997:10), citing Caldwell, beautifully captures this nature of
man thus:
Man does not
need to go to the moon or the solar systems.
He does not require bigger and better bombs and missiles. He will not
die if he does not get better housing or more vitamins…
His basic needs
are few, and it takes a little to acquire them, in spite of the advertisers. He
can survive on a small amount of bread and the meanest shelter…
His real need,
his most terrible need, is for someone to listen to him, not as a patient; but
as a human soul.
On the other hand, anyone who
continually violates this law of appreciation and always assumes the centre of
all conversations, without leaving room for others to speak, will have only
himself to blame when he discovers that people are beginning to avoid him like
the plague. Carnegie (1940:109) offers an insight into this situation:
If you want to
know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even
despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk
incessantly about yourself. If you have
an idea while the other fellow is talking, don’t wait for him to finish. He
isn’t as smart as you. Why waste your
time listening to his idle chatter? Burst right in and interrupt him in the
middle of a sentence.
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