Writing for Social Integration

An effective writing skill can be a great source of prestige in the society for anyone who possesses it. As stated earlier, few people possess the writing skill to a commendable extent.  And those who do usually enjoy considerable credibility in the society because most people believe the written word (and a writer) more than they do the spoken words (and a public speaker).

Another way to use written communication to enhance your social integration is by cultivating the habit of writing letters or short notes to compliment or encourage people; your family members, friends, colleagues, or even people who do not know you but whom you admire and desire to be friendly with. In the words of Benson (undated:183), ‘we live by encouragement, and die without it –  slowly, sadly and angrily’. Therefore, the man who looks beyond himself to sincerely appreciate others in long or short writings will not just be adding a memorable value to them, but will also earn himself an impressive collection of allies. And the more people you have around you, the easier you are able to perform tasks and achieve your aims in life.     

Writing for Emotional Development

One way writing helps one emotionally is in the area of catharsis which the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (1998:176) defines as “the process of releasing strong feelings, e.g. through drama or other artistic activities, as a way of providing relief from anger, suffering, etc.”

When in an emotional state that disturbs your equanimity, picking up a pen to write exactly how you feel is a sure way of tranquillising the storms in your mind. No matter the gibberish you may write or how incoherent your thought-flow may be, simply pouring out your heart on paper is able to sufficiently calm you down and prevent you from acting out of place.

Another way you can use writing to achieve an emotional end is by documenting your feelings of attraction or affection for another person, usually the opposite sex. Such writings are usually a better and more accurate representation of the depth of one’s feeling than words of mouth can express. The rhythmical quality of such lettered emotions are also poetic.  That is why Wordsworth describes poetry as ‘the spontaneous overflow of powerful feeling recollected in tranquillity’.

Writing For Personal Development

The Cambridge International Dictionary of English (1996:1692) defines writing as “the activity of creating pieces of writing work, such as stories, poems or articles”.  In the words of Beck et al (2002:31), “writing is a method of passing information from one person to another, or to a group of people”. They however did not limit writing’s function to information alone, as they also cite persuasion and entertainment as veritable resources to which writing can be put to.

Of the four communication skills, writing is the least utilized for obvious reasons. It requires a great expenditure of time and mental efforts to write. It is a process of drafting, editing, and redrafting to usually arrive at an acceptable finished product. The more reason it has been a highly prized communication skill throughout history. Its mastery confers great powers and influence on whoever possesses it (Beck et al, 2002), Hence the popular saying that “the pen is mightier than the sword”.

The beauty of writing is not usually in its volumes, but in the style and the effectiveness of the content in achieving the set objective(s) of the writer. Effective writing essentially thrives on clarity, precision, and conciseness. In the words of Adesanoye (1995:115):

Effective writing…is a piece of written communication that conveys its message in the simplest, clearest, most concise and most readable way possible. It is also that piece of writing in which the manner of expression dovetails perfectly with the subject matter; one in which…there is a close fit between what and how.

Simplicity, clarity, readability and conciseness are thus the hallmarks of effective writing.

With this background on writing, we shall now proceed to highlight how it can be used for various forms of personal development.

Writing aids the development of the mental faculty because, more than any communication effort, it involves a lot of thinking. The writer often finds himself writing, cancelling and rewording his expressions in the effort to choose the words that will most suitably convey his heart to his reader(s). In the process of doing this, he regularly consult the dictionary and thesaurus, thereby increasing his bank of vocabulary while at the same time honing his intellect.

Reading for Professional Development

The impact of reading in professional and technical development cannot be overemphasized. Rohn, (2005a) quoting Charlie ‘Tremendous’ Jones, says: “You will be in five years the sum total of the books you read and the people you are around”. This underscores the great influence that reading plays in the ultimate manifestation of the self. And, since a larger percentage of our days are spent at the workplace, the books we read will sure have a great bearing on our performance at work.

Another way reading can accelerate one professionally is by aiding in the passing of different academic and professional exams. To qualify as professionals, students and workers need to read well in order to pass their exams in flying colours; teachers and lecturers need to read widely to teach their courses effectively as well as publish in their fields of specialization for promotion. There is no professional calling that one does not need to read to perform better, produce better products, and deliver better services.

To conclude our discourse on reading for personal development, let us consider Rohn’s (2005c) wise counsel:

Failure is not a single, cataclysmic event.  We do not fail overnight. Failure is the inevitable result of an accumulation of poor thinking and poor choices…

If we have not bothered to read a single book in the past ninety days, this lack of discipline does not seem to have any immediate impact on our lives. And since nothing drastic happened to us after the first ninety days, we repeat this error in judgment for another ninety days, and on and on it goes. Why? Because it doesn’t seem to matter. And herein lies the great danger. Far worse than not reading the books is not even realizing that it matters.

Writing For Personal Development

The Cambridge International Dictionary of English (1996:1692) defines writing as “the activity of creating pieces of writing work, such as stories, poems or articles”.  In the words of Beck et al (2002:31), “writing is a method of passing information from one person to another, or to a group of people”. They however did not limit writing’s function to information alone, as they also cite persuasion and entertainment as veritable resources to which writing can be put to.

Of the four communication skills, writing is the least utilized for obvious reasons. It requires a great expenditure of time and mental efforts to write. It is a process of drafting, editing, and redrafting to usually arrive at an acceptable finished product. The more reason it has been a highly prized communication skill throughout history. Its mastery confers great powers and influence on whoever possesses it (Beck et al, 2002), Hence the popular saying that “the pen is mightier than the sword”.

The beauty of writing is not usually in its volumes, but in the style and the effectiveness of the content in achieving the set objective(s) of the writer. Effective writing essentially thrives on clarity, precision, and conciseness. In the words of Adesanoye (1995:115):

Effective writing…is a piece of written communication that conveys its message in the simplest, clearest, most concise and most readable way possible. It is also that piece of writing in which the manner of expression dovetails perfectly with the subject matter; one in which…there is a close fit between what and how.

Simplicity, clarity, readability and conciseness are thus the hallmarks of effective writing.

With this background on writing, we shall now proceed to highlight how it can be used for various forms of personal development.

Writing aids the development of the mental faculty because, more than any communication effort, it involves a lot of thinking. The writer often finds himself writing, cancelling and rewording his expressions in the effort to choose the words that will most suitably convey his heart to his reader(s). In the process of doing this, he regularly consult the dictionary and thesaurus, thereby increasing his bank of vocabulary while at the same time honing his intellect.

Reading For Personal Development

Reading is perhaps the most influential of the communication skills in the development of the individual. Reading, like listening, is a receptive communication skill. It is done by consciously inputting information into one’s consciousness through the eyes and the brain. The more of it you do, the better, improved, enhanced, and versatile you will become.

There is no way we can talk about reading in isolation of books. Books are the main objects in a reading exercise, and a very important one too. Explaining the role of the book in attaining development of any kind, Dr. Alex Ekwueme, cited by Adesanoye (1995:2), says:

In as much as education is the backbone of… development, and the book is the principal element in the educational process, the book deserves a place of honour in our…(personal) priorities. The book is a passport to the world, an indispensable vehicle of science, a storehouse and conveyor of culture and information, and a vital ingredient for development. The importance of books in the development of man and in the fulfilment of his potential can never, therefore, be overstressed.

It is a popular saying that “readers are leaders”. Therefore, anyone who desires to build a life of prominence must cultivate the habit of reading. Someone, somewhere has documented in a book all you need to succeed in life or solve a particular problem. The onus, therefore, lies on you to seek the relevant publications that address your issues, read and apply their principles. To underscore this position, Rohn (2005b) says:

All of the books that we will ever need to make us as rich, as healthy, as happy, as powerful, as sophisticated and as successful as we want to be have already been written.

People from all walks of life, people with some of the most incredible life experiences, people that have gone from pennies to fortune and from failure to success have taken the time to write down their experience so that we can be inspired by it [sic], and instructed by it [sic], and so that we can amend our philosophy by it [sic]. Their contributions enable us to reset our sail based upon their experiences. They have handed us the gift of their insights so that we can arrange our plans, if need be, in order to avoid their errors. We can rearrange our lives based on their wise advice.

However, it is unfortunate that most people do not read except they are compelled to, usually for academic reasons. The reading culture, especially in this part of the world, is at the lowest ebb. People place more importance on other activities rather than reading. It is in this part of the world that we have many literate illiterates. These are people who can amply be described by the aphorism that says “he who does not read has no advantage over him who cannot read”. Illiteracy consists not only in the inability to read and write alone, rather, a person who can read and write but who do not put these skills to use is as illiterate as the one who cannot.

Speaking for Social Integration

Speaking can be a great social asset to anyone who uses it wisely. This presupposes that there are unwise uses of the mouth. Some of the ways words can be used unwisely include:

§  Criticism and condemnation

§  Argument

§  Insulting or Abusing another/Denigration of another person.

On the other hand, the productive use of the spoken words can enhance one’s social acceptance and integration. Some of the positive uses of the tongue towards social development are:

§  Encouragement or positive reinforcement

§  Appreciation of the other person

§  Counsel and advice

Let us first examine the various wrong uses of the words in social interaction: Criticism is one thing most of us find so easy to do: we criticize the government, we criticize our friends and colleagues, we criticize our leaders and bosses; and we criticize people who are not even remotely related to us. However, the amusing part of this is that most of us never or rarely criticize ourselves. We are the saints in the spectrum of our own opinion.

Meanwhile, if you must fare well in the society of men, one lesson you must learn very well is how to keep your critical opinion of others to yourself; you must learn to be less judgmental and accept people for what they are, warts and all. Just like you and I, people rarely criticize themselves for whatever reason. If asked, everyone would proffer a reason for doing whatever they are being criticized for - irrespective of how unreasonable it may sound to others.  Therefore, criticizing such a person will definitely not be the best way to ingratiate yourself, but a sure way of ending up in his black book forever. Carnegie (1940:35) says this better:

If you and I want to stir up a resentment tomorrow that may rankle across the decades and endure until death, just let us indulge in a little stinging criticism – no matter how certain we are that it is justified. 

When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic.  We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.

This tells us what a great harm we cause others by indulging in the easy act of criticism.  Anyone who is habitually critical will not have friends, as people will avoid intimate relationship with him. For as the Bible says, a man who would have many friends must first make himself friendly, not by criticism, but by warm disposition.

While criticism is a negative comment on the action, attitude, works, or behaviour of someone else, condemnation is a judgmental remark about someone’s personality. Condemnation is stronger and more dangerous than criticism because of its directness.

Anyone who is critical will also be judgmental. And a judgmental person rarely has friends due to his disposition. People avoid such a person like a plague because they are not usually good company to have around. A critical and judgmental person cannot integrate well in the society because people will not accept him except they have no choice.

Besides, habitually condemning others is playing God. This, in itself, is a most grievous offence because there is no perfect person under heaven, and so no mortal has the locus standi to judge the personality of another. Moreover, the only perfect Person Who has ever lived did not go around condemning people in His days, which makes it more unjustifiable for any lesser mortal to do so; instead He welcomed all to Himself and was especially friendly with those who were considered outcast in the society because of their intolerable vices.

The case of a woman who was “caught in the very act” of adultery was particularly striking in this instance.  Knowing His disposition to all sinners, the Pharisees and experts in the law dragged the woman to Him desiring to hear His opinion before they go ahead anyway to stone her to death as the law decreed for such offence:

They said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do you say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throne a stone at her first”. And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord”.  And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more. (John 8:4-11).